Soap is not a condiment
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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