we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
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