can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
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I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
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Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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