i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
