There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
