U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
