just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize