This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
