You can't special order awesome
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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