I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
