There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
