'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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