Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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