yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
They took my balls.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
