Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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