70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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