the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
