I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
