the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
