Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
