I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
