I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
