Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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