Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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