so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just found a bag of teeth...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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