i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
