Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize