Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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