I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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