so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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