she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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