i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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