margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
