PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
