What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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