Yo dont text me then not text me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
