There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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