Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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