Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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