come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
