oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
