Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize