it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
