good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
bring money and cleavage
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
