North Korea, Best Korea!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
