oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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