I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
