So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
