Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
