just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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