The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
