She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Found your dick twin last night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize