Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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