Michael Bay diarrhea
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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