She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
