I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Randomize
