Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
