are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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