Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
