I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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