I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
